Never Knew a Summer Could be so Damn Cold

There's a song on an album titled "White Mansions" named "Never Knew a Summer Could be so Damn Cold."  This comes to mind to describe the weather of the last three weeks.  It has rained almost everyday and I only remember one day when it did not rain.  The temp has been hovering around 50 for a high. Hard on an ole boy who lives to ride his motorcycle.

I do look forward to warm weather and sunny days.  I yearn for the feel of the warm sun and smells that signify summer.  I look forward to being outside and feeling the warm sun on my face.  It gives me a thrill and a rush and lifts my spirits.

I have been down a lot lately.  I miss being home in NC.  I do not care for being where I am but I do so out of responsibility and love for my wife Sherry who is fighting with Cancer.  I will stay with her till it is over.

Leaving Home for Last Time.

I wish this day had never came.  Here it is though.  This is the day before we leave for West Virginia, taking my wife back to her home.  In past posts I have spoke of her courageous battle with cancer.  She is losing and has only months left.  Sherry has decided to go back to her home for her final days to be spent with family and friends.

This is our home and we together have built it from scratch here in North Carolina.  My stuff her stuff, things we got together and things given to us by friends and family.  The walls are gaunt, missing pictures.  The shelves are bare in places.  She has decided what she wants to have near in WV.

I failed in my first marriage.  Most of I was my fault.  Bad decisions, sickness and alcohol destroyed a home we spent 25 plus years building.  Alienated a mother from her sons.  I then too saw a house laid bare.  Lost all I had, declared bankruptcy.  But, I started to rebuild.  Sherry and I married and again I had a home full of happiness.  There were tangible things that we both cherished.  Now there are only the memories.

I will stay by her side until the last of her days.  I will go live in WV as long as she lives.  I will come back to our Carolina home.  Right now I don't feel like I can bring those things back here.  I will probably just leave all that is there and fill the voids with new.  One chapter will close in a book while another opens.

I have been ill with pneumonia and recovering from surgery about this whole month.  I have Gout now and it is painful to me.  I made the statement when we moved here that I would never move anymore.  I ended up in ICU at the Durham VA Medical Center in Durham NC for a week with a mild heart attack and mini strokes.  My health is going down hill.

In closing I must say I feel as if I am in a storm in my life and with all things this too shall pass.  I walk by faith and not by sight.  My prayers are brighter days shall come and this I will overcome when the sun shines in my life again.